Running queer autistic social skills groups

Years ago, I wrote a an article on how to build a LGBTQ+ friendly table. As I've continued running my autism social skills groups, through one reason or another, the group makeup has become increasingly queer, until for several months, it was fully queer, including the facilitators. My dream of running a social skills group for autistic queer teens had finally come true, although the irony of it was that it occurred randomly, instead of me developing a specific group. While the Venn diagram between autism and queerness has some pretty significant overlap, I do feel like a big reason this group was able to exist, and the teens in it felt safe to self-disclose was due to the culture I had built- through self disclosure, respectful norms (with clear rules around respecting identity), and representation in the game. As such, for a few quarters, the group was fully queer, with identities all over the queer spectrum. This created a space where the group was able to feel comfortable talking about issues they were facing trying to navigate larger queer culture, anxieties they had, and find a sense of camaraderie with their queer autistic peers.

The autistic social advocacy skills framework I developed became even more important to develop, as teaching the tools to help them build healthy community and support networks is even more essential for queer autistics. But even more so, it became an opportunity on two fronts- Within the game, we were able to explore queer narratives free from toxic or stereotyped tropes. Instead, queer characters were the norm, and had their own challenges, culture, and complex identities. And at the table, it became a safe, inclusive space where the teens could express their identities without feeling threatened or unsafe.

Fundamental to this was the leadership by two queer facilitators- both myself and my co-facilitator identify as queer, and by being able to express this either through disclosure or indicators (pride pins on our bags, etc.) it signals that the group is going to be a safe place to work on developing these skills, with individuals with lived experience as queer adults, navigating an increasingly complex and potentially hostile world. By having authentic lived experience front and center, we were able to craft the space to feel centered both in autism and queerness, where they could thrive and support each other organically. Frequently, before game, conversations would turn to queer news, or discussions about queer culture, and the frank candor, direct communication, and connections with autistic culture made it truly a wonderful thing to behold.

Currently, the group is no longer fully queer, but we maintain the cultural norms from when the group was, so if in the future it ever is that way again, we will have the tools and ability to create a safe and meaningful queer autistic space.